Self-Discipline
I learned discipline from my parents. My dad definitely had that “dad” look. He also had a fairly loud voice and if he snapped, we all straightened right up. My mom was NOT the “wait until your father gets home” kind of mom. If we were stepping out of line, she handled it. All three of us kids grew up well.
That’s not to say we were without fault. We certainly did our share of misbehaving, and I was the guiltiest of the three of us. But, when we did something wrong (and got caught), there was punishment. It wasn’t always even, and it wasn’t always equal. My parents would freely admit the rules were different for each of us and for different reasons. They didn’t make excuses and never bought into the “That’s not fair!” argument. I can still hear my dad; “Tough shit. Life’s not fair.”
The discipline I learned from my parents was refined and sharpened when I was in the Army. I understand that I am about to sound like what young Soldiers are calling a “Fudd”, but individual discipline was the hallmark of our Army when I came in. We had regulations that were enforced, even when Soldiers thought they were stupid or useless. The “why” was explained by junior officers and the Noncommissioned Officers at the pointy end of the spear.
As an example, the Army had a regulation about having your hands in your pockets. The short version was you reached your hand into your pocket to retrieve something or put something into the pocket and that was it. You did leave your hands in your pockets. If it was cold, put gloves on. “Get your fucking hands out of your pockets” was the standard reaction. There were other regulations about haircuts, public displays of affection in uniform, tattoos, earrings for men (even when off duty), facial hair, and about a million other things.
Some of you are asking yourself “Why does any of that matter?” Self-Discipline. That’s why. The Army had regulations about your personal conduct and your appearance. The Army determined your professionalism could be measured, at least in part, by how you looked. Honestly, I agreed with it. I still do.
For the VAST majority of the Army, self-discipline matters. If you can’t show up on time, at the right place, in the right uniform, on an average Tuesday….how can I count on you when things get stressful? If you can’t do the simple things right, why would I believe you can do the complex things? Again, for the majority of the Army, this kind of discipline is necessary. You’ll never convince me otherwise.
Unfortunately, through the magic of social media, I have seen what I would call a significant culture shift in the Army. I saw the beginnings of this before I retired. During the war, there was a lot of integration of conventional (regular Army) and special operations forces in both Iraq and Afghanistan. Special operations doesn’t necessarily prescribe to my mindset about individual discipline enforced the way most of the Army needs it. They are a very different population; older, more experienced, selected from smaller pools of applicants, tested, and trained. Special operations don’t NEED to worry about that level of discipline like the big Army does because of who is in their ranks. It is just like my parents having different rules for different kids. Life ain’t fair, like dad said.
There are a number of people who make the mistake of asking questions like “Why does it matter if I have my hands in my pockets if I know how to fight?” People who ask these questions come from two categories; someone who has spent ALL or MOST of their career in special operations and NOT in the “Big Army”…OR…someone who didn’t have the benefit of growing up with discipline in their personal life BEFORE the Army and have no concept of why it is important. By the way, that second group of people often grow into substandard Soldiers or leaders due to arrogance, apathy, or general laziness.
Adding insult to injury, the folks in the second category are the same ones on social media telling guys like me “the Army changed bro” and “no one gives a shit about your opinion dude” and “enjoy your retirement and leave us alone”. No kidding. Those that wipe away the hallmark of self-discipline as an overrated waste of time, don’t even want to entertain the opinion of the generation that spent the last twenty years fighting. I would estimate 75% of the current Army has never seen combat. And of that 25% that have the medals and badges saying they’ve been to combat…an even smaller number have actually ENGAGED in combat.
Again, I know I sound a lot like I should be sitting at the VFW in a baseball hat with a bunch of pins and shit stuck in it or hanging out at the VA waiting for my next medical exam. Maybe I do. Fine. The importance of self-discipline doesn’t change. That level of discipline kept thousands more Soldiers alive DURING those twenty years of combat than if it wasn’t instilled in them BEFORE combat. You don’t suddenly have discipline when you get off the airplane and people start shooting at you. If you take the shortcuts during training, you’ll take them during combat. And if you can’t do the simple thing of keeping your hands out of your fucking pockets when you KNOW that is the standard, you won’t clean your weapon when you’re tired, you won’t stay awake to pull security, and you won’t make sure you have all your gear before you start a mission. You won’t. It’s not a leap. That’s a fact.
The lack of self-discipline in the Army is indicative of the same lack of self-discipline that is permeating parts of America. People don’t want to work. They don’t want to get up in the morning. They don’t want to do anything that takes discipline. It’s easier to steal. Take handouts. Be on welfare. Be on social programs. Do things that are illegal but easy. It is the root of our future downfall.
I was lucky to have parents that kept us in line. They taught us responsibility. They taught us what was right and wrong. They held us accountable. There was discipline. The Army showed me the importance, sometimes life and death importance, of self-discipline. Social media is showing me that same level of self-discipline is waning. People ask me now about current military leadership both the good and the bad. The ask my opinion about the state of the military. They want to know what I think about “wokeness”, sexual assault, the conditions of the barracks, or whatever story they just read on the news.
You can trace anything and everything in the military, good and bad, problem and solution, success and failure, all back to one thing. Self-Discipline. With it you have a shot at winning. No guarantee, but you definitely have a shot. Without it…you have no shot. No self-discipline is guaranteed failure and not just in combat. Mark my words; our military will crumble at a commensurate rate with the level of individual discipline. Our military will win or lose based on one thing…self-discipline.