Sticks And Stones

That’s what mom told us when we were kids. If someone made fun of you or called you a name, that’s what she told you. “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me.”

Translation: It doesn’t matter what someone else says or thinks about you.

That was the lesson that got most of us through childhood, because kids can be mean. It is probably one of the most valuable lessons you can learn in life. And we’ve seemed to have forgotten it.

Now, if someone calls you a name, people lose their ever-loving minds. People don’t ignore or deescalate or just move on. No. They pick a fight. They demand to be called by the “right name”. They demand you respect them. And what happens if you don’t? They do exactly what the same thing they just got upset about…they call YOU a name. You are immediately labeled as some sort of “-phobic” or some sort of “-ist”.

The question is, why do they care what you think or what you said? Mike Rowe, who is amazing in his common sense and rational thinking, addressed this in a tweet the other day. A woman said that if he was really affiliated with some organization that she would lose all respect for him. He responded by asking her what makes people think that anyone needs to feel the respect of someone they never met?

That’s the epitome of narcissism, right? Assuming that anyone else needs YOUR validation or needs YOUR approval. Followed closely behind that is the demand that someone else blindly respects YOUR beliefs, regardless of their own. Why is it so necessary that people feel respected by people they don’t know? Or even people they DO know? And why do people believe their approval of others is actually sought by others?

It’s some sort of weird power trip. Like everyone believes they are some sort of royalty to be respected and bowed too and awed over.

You’re gay. You’re straight. You’re bisexual. That’s nice. I don’t care.

You called me a name. I don’t care.

You think I’m an opinionated asshole. I don’t care.

I heard a saying once that sums it all up. I won’t reveal the source, but it is a brilliant saying.

“If you don’t feed me, fuck me, or pay my bills…I don’t care what you think.” Obviously, that’s not one to be passed on to the toddlers, but it is a solid life lesson. Let’s be honest, if I was honestly worried what people thought of me, this blog wouldn’t exist. People can disagree with me. I don’t care. People can (and have) send me messages saying some awful things. I don’t care.

Once all of us get beyond this weird power trip of needing approval, needing validation, and needing people to agree with us, our lives will all get a lot better. Learn these three words. Say them every day.

I Don’t Care.

And if that doesn’t work, you can always go back to …. Sticks and Stones.